The victim mentality basically means that you see life through a broken lens and that broken lens is a result of the trauma and trials that you’ve experienced. When you don’t find healing and wholeness in God from what you have been through, you live life based on the past. Your way of thinking is influenced or shaped by the pain of your past. When you become free from the victim mentality, the Lord resets your perspective of who you are in Him and how you view your past, present, and future.
When you have a victim mentality, the enemy uses that as an open door to pull you into depression, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, and feeling rejected, bitter, and angry. Because your focus is on the past, you’re unable to see the potential of what God can do in and through you right now and in the future. All of this is what I learned through my own story.
Before I began my wholeness journey, I was definitely in bondage to a victim mentality. I was stuck on my hurt and I had no idea how to give or receive love. I wanted the sympathy of people. I wanted someone to care. But what I did not realize was how toxic the victim mentality was and what that toxicity was doing to me and the relationships I had with others. I did not believe anything positive that people said to me about who I was because I could not see past the hurt. I felt like, if someone that I cared about could hurt me, then why would I believe the words of anyone else?
Through everything that God has brought me through, here are a few things that I learned about conquering the victim mentality:
Ask the Lord to free you!: It was for this freedom that Christ set us free [completely liberating us]; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery [which you once removed]. - Galatians 5:1
Jesus died so that you could be free and that includes freedom from a victim mentality. When you have a relationship with God, you are made new in Him so you don’t have to live life stuck to your past.
There is so much power in forgiveness!: Forgiveness brings a new level of peace. When you carry unforgiveness, it gets heavier and heavier and weighs you down and your perspective of life is cloudy. That weight that you feel and the dark cloud over you makes you weak and harder for you to move forward. But when you choose to walk in forgiveness, the Lord takes the weight off of you and changes your perspective so that you clearly walk away from your past and toward your God-ordained future.
It is okay to seek professional help: Going to a therapist does not make you crazy! I believe that the Lord strategically places people in our lives to help move us in the direction that we need to go. I started therapy again a few months ago and it is one of the best decisions that I have made! Therapy challenges me to deal with what I’ve suppressed and is a significant factor in healing from what I’ve suppressed. I would encourage you to seek a therapist that aligns with your faith and can provide you with sound wisdom and accountability.
Choose every day to be determined to remain free: Know that the enemy, and your emotions at times, are going to try and pull you back into having a victim mentality. The speed of your healing is determined by your dedication to your development. YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT YOURSELF! You have to be intentional every day about your journey of healing to wholeness. One of the best ways to remain intentional is to renew your mind daily with the Word of God.
The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple. - Psalm 119:130
The word light here means that it brings revelation. As you read and study the Word, it reveals more of who God is and who You are in Him.
Sis, the Lord wants you to be free! Regardless of what you have experienced, you can be free and your freedom is found in Christ Jesus.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
2 Corinthians 3:17